so im laying here in bed listening to all these songs that remind me of you, and i know you don’t get only much but i really hope you see this (ill prolly make you read it)… now, here’s the thing.. i understand i spill my heart out alot and put my feelings on the line and make sure to tell you a billion times a day, probably to the point where its no longer really a special moment anymore.

i dont want me telling you that I LOVE YOU to become habbit, like i really want you to know everytime i say it i mean it. and let me explain why to you & the world.

chase is the first guy to truly make me feel special. i’ve been in relationships where i’ve been hit, verbally abused and more. i’ve been in relationships where i put all the effort in and got nothing in return. and when i met chase, i wasn’t looking for a relationship, i had just gotten out of a shitty one. i made my mistakes in the beginning but when i saw chase, there was just something about him that i had to have. his vibe, his glow, his smile everything head to toe. and for me that was scary, because i was so used to running back to my ex’s that i had never given anyone new a chance. so when i got his number adn texted him, i smiled for the first time with a real smile in a long time. when we first started out i was nervous and scared, but we grew to each other and had this bond that i had never felt with anyone else and there is just a comfort to his kisses. walking around school made me smile because i was finally one of those girls that got to hold hands and walk each other to class. when we started dating you asked me right around midnight, we were laying in my bed just talking and cuddling. and honestly, that has been one of the many best nights ever. when i said yes, i was saying yes to everything.

chase, i want to spend the rest of my life with you. through every fight through every struggle you have stayed right by my side no matter what. there isn’t nothing we cant overcome and there is nothing that can ever come in between us. i love you more than i loved my first love. so to me,this is like my first love. we have a set plan for the future and have everything planned out and i understand there will be minor changes but i never want our plan to change. i want to be the person you wake up and fall asleep to, i want to be the girlfriend you always want to come home to, i want to be the girlfriend that always has breakfast and starbucks ready for you when you wake up, before you go to work.

you make me weak, but with making me weak you stand strong for me. i love when you get protective of me and get territorial. i love when you defend me because it shows how much you really care about me. your the reason why i try, because if i didnt have you for motivation i dont kknow where i would be in my life.

the other night i asked you what would have happened if you had never met me, well guess what, f i had never met you id be back into the abusive relationships i was in. i would walk around school staring at the couples being jelous and hurt. i would never open up and talk about things like i do now and i wouldnt have stopped drinking and smoking as much as i was. now its just an occasional social thing.

your everything in my life, and i never wanna wake up and look into another guys eyes

i love you baby, so when i say it. i dont say it out of habbit or pleasure, i say it from the bottom of my heaart with all the meaning in the world.

goodmorning baby, i hope you slept amazing.

<3